Song #36: Something Corporate - I Woke Up in a Car (off Leaving Through the Window - 2002)
I resent the hell out of people who are younger, more talented than me AND living their dreams. I figure if they’re my age or older, it’s fine and that I’m just a little behind in life. I seethe when people born in the 90s become famous. It actually freaks me out. I remember one time a few years ago I watched an episode of Entertainment Tonight and I was older than EVERY SINGLE CELEBRITY they mentioned. I was twenty. The point of this tangent is that I feel REALLY OLD. I have a birthday coming up and it’s not even a milestone… I just figure that the older I am the less time I have left being young.
Early twenties are supposed to be all about small tastes of adulthood (paying bills, working crappy jobs) with small doses of sheer youthful stupidity (dating with no intention of marriage? Yes please!). I feel sometimes that I have to wean myself off of stupidity… That would be fine if there was blatant youthfulness to take away. I will never wake up in a car in the middle of nowhere. I will never backpack through Europe or flirt my way into an exclusive party or sneak out of my house to see a guy my mom thinks is a bad influence.
I was born with the personality of a jaded old woman (some kinder people refer to me as an Old Soul) and think those things are silly and meaningless, but there’s a small window of time in which I could do them and it shrinks with every day. I’ve met some really great dudes who have done so much with their lives so far - the cross-continental road-trip, writing and recording a whole album, breakdowns and traveling and awesome volunteering experiences…
In high school, I was pretty into Something Corporate. Then again, who wasn’t? Fifty different girls wore “Punk Rock Princess” tank tops every day whether they knew the reference or just thought it was cool. I think Andrew McMahon, for all his early success, wrote songs from the same state of mind as mine. The difference being, of course, he allowed himself to have that sense of adventure. I Woke Up in a Car is a documentation of the wonder and excitement he feels at FINALLY DOING SOMETHING. He’s alone, but feels like he’s living for the first time.
On a normal day, I am pretty happy with where I am. It’s not a quarter-life crisis, it’s an appreciation of the advantages of youth. It’s only when I think about it that I feel that wanderlust.
P.S. I’m seeing SoCo in a little over a week and I’m FREAKING OUT. Oh, high school…
